Suffering in Silence…Support for Undocumented Male Victims of Abuse in Illinois
In my work of providing immigration psychological evaluations in Illinois, it is not infrequent that I come across male clients petitioning for a VAWA visa. VAWA stands for the violence against women act that was enacted in 1994 to help undocumented individuals self petition for permanent residency in the United States if they are victims of abuse. This ensures that they are able to seek immigration support without their abusive spouse or family member knowing about it. Even though the language in the refers to “women,” it is actually much more gender inclusive and encompasses victims of varying relationships, not just romantic ones. For example, victims of domestic abuse who may qualify for the VAWA visa could be male and parents of adult children. For the purpose of this blog article, I wanted to highlight my experience of working with male victims of domestic abuse, also called intimate partner violence (IPV).
What qualifies as domestic abuse for immigration psychological evaluations for VAWA in Illinois?
There are many categories that fall under the umbrella term “domestic abuse,” or “intimate partner violence.” I will be utilizing the Power and Control wheel to lay a foundation of what behaviors are deemed abusive. Domestic abuse can be defined as any behavior or action that impedes on an individual’s freedom for the purpose of exercising power and control over them for personal gain. Below are the various ways abusers assert their power and control over their victims, specifically for undocumented immigrants petitioning for VAWA:
ISOLATION - The victim is isolated from any social connection they may have (friends, family, coworkers, faith leaders, etc.). Examples of this are having their phone activity monitored, being told who they are allowed to communicate with and are only allowed to talk about limited personal topics, having the phone taken away, having all social media accounts removed and having total access to all personal accounts.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE - The victim is made fun of in front of others and called demeaning and racist names. Examples include making fun of the client’s undocumented status and using the client’s cultural background to demean and embarrass them.
ECONOMIC ABUSE - The victim is forced to be the sole provider for the home, or the opposite where the victim is prevented from working and going to school. Oftentimes the undocumented victim is not able to open a bank account and the spouse is the only one to have access to the main bank account where all the immigrant’s direct deposits go to. The abuser may limit or completely restrict how much money the undocumented partner has access to.
SEXUAL ABUSE - The victim is forced to engage in sexual acts with their partner. They may be shamed or ridiculed during the act or afterwards. The abuser may also use violence during or after the act.
THREATS - The victim is threatened with deportation or being reported to the authorities if they do not do as they are told by the abuser. The undocumented victim may be threatened to be hurt or killed if they tell anyone about their home situation.
USING CITIZENSHIP OR RESIDENCY PRIVILEGE - The citizen spouse may delay filing of paperwork to help the undocumented spouse obtain a work authorization and begin the process of filing for a green card. The abuser may deliberately lie in the legal paperwork, or they may threaten to not file the paperwork if the undocumented spouse does not do what they say.
INTIMIDATION - The victim’s legal identification and documentation may be hidden or destroyed by the spouse in an effort to intimidate them from leaving the relationship or going to the authorities.
Recovering from shame and seeking a way out of an abusive relationship
It takes immense strength to get away from an abusive spouse and seek help, especially for male victims of abuse, who may feel immense shame for being in this situation in the first place. Cultural backgrounds where the male partner is viewed as dominant and head of the household often make it really difficult for male abuse victims to speak out against their spouse. They not only fear that they will be deported, but they believe that no one will believe them and the authorities will take the side of their spouse because they are female and because they are citizens of the country. The common sentiment is thinking that others will perceive them to be weak for not using their physical size to overpower their abusive wives. What often gets overlooked is the severity of emotional and psychological abuse that male victims of abuse have endured. They are often demeaned and ridiculed and even referred to as “less than male,” by their abusers, which over time has a compounded and deleterious effect on their self-esteem and mental functioning. The longer they stay in the abusive relationship, the more they lose hope of things turning around. The individuals that I have worked with often find me when they have reached a breaking point, unfortunately. Many have felt that they have nothing left to lose and are at a place where the threat of deportation seems like a relief for their mental, emotional and physical suffering.
Light at the end of the tunnel for VAWA petitioners in Illinois
Choosing to move forward with a petition for a VAWA visa can offer hope and a new beginning when it feels like there is no light at then end of the tunnel. As part of this process, a client may choose to work with me to have an immigration psychological evaluation in Illinois. This involves sharing with a licensed clinician all the various ways the client has experienced abuse by their spouse. It is not uncommon for male victims of abuse to not experience any physical abuse, but more emotional, psychological and financial abuse. The client’s narrative is very important to highlight just how much their mental health has been impacted by the abuse. This report is very helpful for their immigration case and is reviewed by the immigration court judge as part of their immigration documentation. I have had the honor of witnessing many brave men and women walk away from an abuse spouse and being to rebuild their lives as permanent residents of the U.S. If you are interested in learning more about the psychological evaluation for VAWA in Illinois process, please see my website for more details.