Therapy for first-generation professionals in Chicago and throughout Illinois
Meet Agata D. Kubinska, LCSW a first-generation Polish immigrant, and expert in the mental health of first-generation professionals
Like many first-generation professionals, you may feel that you have done everything right and followed the plan that was set up for your success. On the surface it appears that you should be happy. You have heard how lucky you are for having achieved so much — things that your parents could only dream of. Yet, deep inside is a longing for more — not necessarily material things —but a longing, a yearning to understand yourself better and wondering why you don’t feel so put together, when everyone you know admires your accomplishments and looks up to you?
You may be the first in your family that finished college, works a white-collar job, has a 401K and personal savings account, and you can afford the extra guacamole on your Chipotle burrito bowl. With your new achievements comes a higher standard of living and new opportunities. You may choose to eat out a couple times a week, even though you hear your mother’s voice in your head telling you to save your money and that there is food in the house. You may practice holding boundaries around family obligations and how you choose to spend your time, but with it comes guilt and you find yourself saying “yes” more often then you would like. You want to explore why certain things seem harder now that you are an accomplished professional and have everything you wanted. You are curious to explore why certain patterns keep holding you back and how to overcome obstacles that get in the way of living a fulfilled life. If you are a first-generation professional that is seeking depth and wants to break generational cycles that no longer serve you, you have come to the right place.
What are sessions with me like?
Together we will address not only what brings you to therapy, but more importantly - how did you get here?
By diving into the roots of your pain points we are able to get a bigger picture of how your present day beliefs, thoughts and behaviors were shaped by the past. Each session will take us on a journey into your past and unpack what events, relationships and family stories made up the foundation of who you are today. We will also develop a deeper appreciation of how you understand yourself in the present day. By linking the present with the past we can build a new foundation for the future.
I specialize in psychodynamic therapy - a depth-oriented approach that gets to understanding the roots of your unhappiness so that you can heal from deep within and bring balance and fulfillment back into your life. I also integrate polyvagal theory to help regulate your nervous system and utilize inner child work to invite younger parts of you into the healing space.
The journey
Sessions with me take time. I really enjoy getting to know my clients and going on this journey with them. So instead of rushing to solutions we take the scenic route to our destination. This means we start traveling in reverse. We will visit your childhood home, you’ll introduce me to your caregivers, siblings, pets. We’ll get out the car and look around the street you grew up on and your memories will be our GPS, guiding us on our journey to understand your world.
After I learn more about your early life, our ride will continue to unknown destinations because we won’t know where we are headed until we arrive there. We call this “free association,” meaning you speak freely in session and my role is to make conscious connections with messages from your unconscious. I believe everything you say has meaning and I encourage you to never hold back in our time together as it is all part of your inner roadmap revealing parts of your wisdom as we get closer to understanding what makes you, you and begin to open doors to the future with keys from your past.
Does this sound familiar?
The self help aisle is your favorite at the bookstore, you’ve listened to all the podcasts on how to feel better and sampled different meditation apps. You know you don’t feel good and you have been quite resourceful in finding the answers to your pain. I understand the drive to want to fix it yourself and not bother anyone with your worries. You’re so used to being there for others that it is second nature to not show up for yourself and to believe that if you just don’t think about it, it will go away.
But that’s the thing with feelings - the more energy we use to push them down and out of our mind, they begin to take on bigger shapes as they wait in our unconscious to re-emerge, like a chained up dragon in a cave. You may have felt this dragon emerge when you argue with your spouse over the dishes or feel like you are going to explode if one more person asks “are you okay?” You know you are not doing okay, but you also don’t know what to do about it. You’ve been holding onto these feelings for so long, a part of you feels like you don’t recognize yourself anymore. You used to feel joy and happiness and now the smallest thing can set you off. You want to understand what has changed and how to get out of this space.
You are an individual with many layers that is curious about your inner world and wants to get at the root causes of your pain without sacrificing any more of your precious time on google, self-help books, or podcasts.
You are ready to put in the hard work and make impactful and lasting change, not only for you but for your loved ones as well. You understand that your life is interconnected with those that matter to you most and you are tired of “your own stuff” getting in the way of that. It is time to put yourself first and I can help get you there.
You want to move beyond feeling like what you’re doing is good enough and are ready to take the next steps to truly begin living.
I’m the right therapist for you if…
You want a therapist that doesn’t use fancy jargon, or just listens passively as you tell your story.
You want someone who will help you access feelings you didn’t even know you were holding back.
You want to be able to speak to why it feels like sometimes you hate the ones you love so deeply.
You want to know why you keep saying “yes” to people, events, requests that do not bring you much joy.
You want to understand why certain people seem to bring out the worst part of you and you want to get over the guilt in admitting it.
You want to be seen and accepted for all that you are - even your shadow parts.
I want to help you uncover what brings light and joy back into your life and how to confidently advocate for your needs as well. It’s time to put yourself first, nurture your inner badass and take the leap into your depths.
There is no quick fix to healing
I provide a warm, supportive, non-judgemental space where we can be curious about your inner world together. I will help you uncover what motivates you to push past roadblocks so that you can make changes necessary to live the life you always wanted.
I provide a trauma and developmentally-informed approach that is grounded in psychodynamic theory. This means I will help you understand the how and why of your past, so that you can truly live up to your potential in the present day. I am not here to offer quick fix solutions, but to be curious alongside you as we try to really figure you out.
There is no straight line to feeling better - the road to healing can be bumpy and full of ups and downs, but isn’t it reassuring to have a guide that’s done this many times before and knows when to accelerate or pump the brakes to keep the ride smooth, manageable and at your pace? I specialize in taking the scenic route, getting out of the vehicle and exploring each stop to get a truer, clearer understanding of what makes you, you.
I invite you into the driver's seat and let’s see where the road takes us.
Specialties
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Anxiety
On the outside you look chill and calm but your inside does not match that experience. Racing thoughts, a pounding heart and feeling on edge keep you from being your best self.
Anxiety can take many forms for different people, but most of the time it affects our daily functioning and interferes with our ability to be our best self. Therapy can help bring insight into how it impacts you and what you can do about it.
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Individual therapy for relationships
Do you want to understand yourself better in order to show up more fully in your relationships?
Does it feel like you’re the only one that’s really trying to fix things and you’re getting so tired of being the only one that’s putting in the effort?
It’s time to reconnect with your own needs and wants.
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Adult children of immigrants
Do you live between two worlds? You find yourself having to constantly shift your identity between your home self and the identity you picked up from being raised in the dominant culture.
The experience of growing up as a first generation immigrant is a unique experience that can make you question who you are and how do you fit into both worlds. Therapy can help clarify the confusion.
Education, Credentials & Training
Erikson Institute - MSW, 2018
Immigration Evaluation Training with Georgia King
Institute for Clinical Social Work - Completed PhD coursework in psychodynamic studies
Licensed clinical social worker in IL #149024157
Decolonial Shadow Work with Dra. Rocio Rosales Meza
Brainspotting Phase 1 with Lisa Larson
Take the leap into your depths and tune into your inner wisdom.
The gift of therapy is only a click away
/dar/ - Polish translation of gift or offering.
When I think of therapy, I think of its ability to unwrap the natural gifts we already possess. The confidence to speak up, the values that make you uniquely you, and the presence in relationships that build connection. Therapy acts as a gift to yourself to open up your potential and use it to create a life that best suits your needs.
Therapy can be a transformative experience and the best gift you can give yourself. This is how I came up with the name of my counseling services: “dar” is translated from my native Polish to mean “gift.” The gift of therapy can be experienced as greater insight not just into yourself but how you interact with others and show up in the world.
My Values
I value the therapeutic relationship as the basis for enacting change in your life. The relationship between therapist and client is deeply personal and confidential, which allows for more deeper exploration and processing of what challenges you have faced in life.
I also value the resiliency of the human spirit. Alone you have faced setbacks, disappointments and frustrations. Together we can make meaning out of life’s hardships and turn your suffering into your power.
Guiding Principles
Collaboration
Working alongside you to uncover what you truly need to be happy.
Presence
Holding space in the present moment to tune into your unspoken experience.
Growth
Witnessing your growth as you raise awareness into who you are and where you want to be going.